Dr. Jolt

Love is passion, obsession, someone you can’t live without. If you don’t start with that, what are you going to end up with? Fall head over heels. I say, find someone you can love like crazy and who’ll love you the same way back. And how do you find him? Forget your head and listen to your heart. I’m not hearing any heart. Run the risk, if you get hurt, you’ll come back. Because, the truth is there is no sense in living your life without this. To make the journey and not fall deeply in love- well, you haven’t lived a life at all. You have to try. Because if you haven’t tried, you haven’t lived.

I had a bowl of this for breakfast

On a supposedly tight schedule, (supposedly!) oh f-off. All set, poladroiding all day. Rants on going with the freak, everyday, 24/7. (what the hell man?) Giving him an impression of a stuck up loner, (am one indeed) oh fuck the world man, who cares! Uzair is no longer mine so why bother about others. I need to get a griiiiiiiiiiiip.

*zero inspiration for an hour*

Post-Friday/Saturday Rants;
Oh dear god..your expression was priceless. (the stares were very much appreciated..tqvm) As I flunked the seat next to you and joined the other brigade..torture. A great torture to your music-washed soul huh? Z was being a great tuiton mate for the day. (gasp..revelation of truth, MunFai get ready!) A was being grumpy than usual, but hey gentlemen he was. Lord..don't make me start on H. Countless time of ruffling and shuffling my hair..(me being the imaginary dog) When asked on why the need of him playing with my hair..the only way to stop (it seems) is to shave em hair bald. (Oh great, did he forget hijab?) In the meantime, Add Maths was fun and loved...trust J to make mothereffed faces and shove it to me (yuck!) God..that kissing noise, I wish I have 90v battery with me (yes, imagining) and stuck it in his mouth. Such pretty face but a wasted sperm, indeed. Care not to deny the truth, I love my tuition boys. (thanks for the prepaid H) :-)  Saturday? Sinful. Made ma scorned and all boiled up. A poladriod day. An unproductive day. Mothereff. I hate that day. Apart from that small spring cleaning. I gave hope to D. He thinks he's back in the game. Dialled my digits, allowed a mere 10 minutes call. I'm nice. H was being as awesome as ever. Dialled, entertained, hung up as phone died (shssh!) and left the story in-between. Well I guess the day was spent off texting the freak. Sinful. I need my testoterones (sp?) hormones! Give it back to me! My uglier days! My nerd days! Kicks arse man. Till then, I need a serious bedgasm. (scoffs)

Life is bitchin', si? Cut myself some slack by having a short movie-marathon while indulging trans-fat, from 2 am till quarter to 5. Pop's busy with his workloads, so after tuition he slopped back in slumber. Where was I...ah yes, was chillin' like nobody's business watching Wild Child and Wanted (yes, bad combination) ..then I was too tired, shut the lappie off and dozed. Left me feeling guilty and deceit. (I did not wake up for Subuh..I've been keeping up lately, but damn) Pop went out 6 minutes to 10 telling me that he'll be off first and is pickin' me up later..I expect change of plans, knowing how busy and fickle minded he is. (haha, kiddy) Alas, Monday's school! Have I know inform you that I am absolutely enthralled on the idea of school? OMG, YES! (scoffs) Tis' will kick-arse yeahs, we seniors gonna rock that hell-heavenhole!  No. Ain't gonna party hard..I'm thinking of getting to the geek side! (puts on geek glass)

I henceforth announce a glorious (Insyaallah) 2009! Viva la vida!

<- Top to bottom:- Sheer black leopard jacket (reserved!), Retro tecnicolor dress (paid!), Turqoise flapper sleeve dress (reserved-cancelled-regretted-snatched by someone!)

Homeworks are left unattained. What? When? How? Je ne sais pas, mianhae. (ouwww multi-language, I like) Where was I? Yes..Chemistry, Biology. 5 papers in total. Any vindications? I for one thinks thats we should finish it (a) formative marks ahoy! you bitch in form of digits..(b) a total faux pas to start the 09' getting trounced from the "Fraternity of Cluster Professuers" ..et (c) then everyone will go, OMG you did it! OMG this and that; it will totally brings up your self-esteem, kinda help on the 1st day impressions too..ha-ha. (okay lame) and (d) who wants to be a goody-goody two shoes? matey, I see a show of hands there! (gasp) In conclusion, Ich interessiere mich nicht! I don't care! (wait, I think I do) Past weeks spent bunking at Grandma's watching Astro that provides no HBO, E! and the likes ended up channelling 555 and 122, and whole lot of German movies there, I am that sad. But anyway, it doesn't prevent me from my daily retail updates! Behold! Due to the atrocious damage done..which resulted much loss of kachings! ($) - nearly RM300 in a week, I thereforth forestall any likings or intentions to attain any fabrications of any sort of...material. (that minus accessories..tantalizing body products..shoes, Ah yes SHOES!) For I now am equipped with a mere RM150! Major shopping pas! Alright matey, I'll refrain myself. (gag!) But considering I am a cheap-ass, go-for-volume brat, I'm proud! A savvy shopper indeed. (Topshop, Zara, Guess long gone indeed, I bid you farewell!)

Listening to Coldplay's tune circa 05', with a mug of Tesco Hot Choc beside, and my bleeping gadget. Having troubles expressing heartfelt gratitude towards em laddates and relatives...oh for the love of god how I treasure my family! Runaway aunt spilledthe beans, ahh yes she realised her pants are on fire! Revealed the known truth, and tadda...she's busted. With a capitol 'B'. Damn kick-arse, my grandpere' is. "Me, my wife and family are longing for Ameena, and don't you worry we won't lock two of em' up and bomb your place and mash your ass." (OW!) Yes, he did say that...ok he didn't. Whichever it was..she ended up getting the greenlight (you stupid camel!) and will be aboard (insyaallah) on the 7th of Nov; same arrival date as le mami and grandmami. How dare she! Blatantly voiced that she'll arrive first..how one lie leads to another, and another. (She=runaway aunt) Ahh forgo that! I don't care, all I want is Ameena and my vintage goodies from America! (and my vanilla body products; don't forget to smell me!) Off the way! Out! Room improvement calls!

On list :- Slick & cotton leggings, black leopard sheer jacket, vintage sling bag, quirky vintage vest, geek glasses, studded heels, more vintage dresses, sequin cape, Tea n' Sympathy goodness, Ikano 1st floor stalls (roflmaomgwtfbbq) AND body&bathworks milk products!

Fo shiz.
12 o' clock hasn't strike yet but here am I...tapping away for a scheduled post. I am a lady with a mission..and no man is able to stop me. I am Wrath! I am Anger! To top it off that, I peed in my pants! (cue: eww) Full-fledged New Year mood, alas! Truth be told we Moslems are living in a new year! (3rd Muharam as I speak) Yes I know you are thrilled to know why I peed in my pants, lo' and behold! No, I will not spill the beans. Humilating enough for me to tap it out. (note: I peed in the public) Strange revelation for a pre-countdown post...indeed.
So, this is it?
Au revoir 2008! I am indeed stoked from all the blessings (post-achievement, social life, money, maturity, materials, circle of friends) and misfortunes (decreasing academic profile, ever so average stamina, lost faith, lost hope & trust) that befall on me. I can't say I am sonsy enough to face 2009 with a big smile, but I am definetely sober enough to catch the drift. I am awesome for maintaining my sanity eventhough my days in school are well known for it's hecticness (good lord how annoyed must Ainil be seeing me running up and down doing god knows what), I am sinned for letting my thoughts run wild and letting my faith gone (nearly) astray, I am a snob for thrifting and wasting my monthly wages and their savings to satiate my hunger on clothes and other materialistic so called valuables. (sorry Umi, Abah, Angah) I undergo such pain dealing with pre-bankcruptcy but as my friends came for an aid I am a saviour now. (special thanks to Mun, Fai, Salwa) I vouched on changes but visible improvement is not what I see! I deem on things that ended up not worth to trust for. I led things gone astray..I forgo my academic portfolio (figuratively) and I lack blessings from Allah Himself!

[EDIT]

Everything happens for a reason. I'm a one hell tough cookie! (Insyaallah)

- thanks to the loser who posted this.

Note; Harem pants + Red checked shirt + Red rims + Red heels = A1 Add Maths scorer = Big butt demon = this girl

Have fun getting toyed and fooled. :-)

I am a friend who doesn't befriend you like others because..just because. (cue; Aladdin setan sound FX)

One hell of a ride with you, and I am 100% stoked! Thanks man! All this while, I got gobsmacked, hit on, knocked on, bullshitted on, ignored on, and all sorts of shitfucks you've done, I appreciately treasure it. I will continue bitching about you because we're one hardcore friends! I'm euphoric because of you! You suck! If you forget about me I'mma get that elephant who crossed the road and bust your boobies and mash your ass! Then you can't dance or shake your booty anymore (haha padan muka) :-D

p/s: Wonder who's the beaver? (grins at someone when she gets back)

Late night, sippin' fags (ha-ha bullshit) after a decent 5 hours sleep, self-visualising in mind...crunchin' fat chicken drummets, (I'm having a slight fried chicken fetish, gross I know) observing dad in his (no, my) bright espirit duvet, and..doing nothing at all. I've done my report quite some time ago, (yesterday 10pm but I fell asleep shortly after that) just didn't had the feeling to send it yet. So here I am, Cookie Crisp-ing, with my Donut beside me (and a retarded WI-FI) and a glass of cranberry juice on my left, I am nothing but happy. Ahh, yes, we teenyboppers might call this as, EMO? Well truthfully I am not..for the propensities of mine are more abstract than just EMO. (well in a simple english word I would say, confused, grins) Alas! my blogger is once updated. (I still have 2 more to go) I couldn't care less about the things revolving around me...because I feel nothing, except of this revolting and sick feeling (apa kes ni?) that is already thickening inside me.

Oleh itu, aku rasa sakit hati dengan diri aku sendiri. Mesti sebab banyak sangat baca blog orang (especially the other side of people) and terpengaruh dengan pemikiran mereka. (there's too many opinions..I am confused) Rasa macam nak berubah, konon dapat wake-up call tapi hari-hari same je (rut..what a rut) macam cibai! Masalah tak la sampai boleh bunuh diri, tikam org, kelar lengan whatsoever, tapi macam masalah ni datang dari diri. Cam..nak kata low self-esteem tak lah, confidence level aku ok je kot, uproaring lagi adalah..tapi macam sifat, ha sifat dalam diri ni, makin busuk je rasa. (you know, when your gut feeling tells you that something is fishy..it is) Aku macam nak cari ketenangan dan aku tahu hanya Dia sahaja lah tempatnya. (since I am having the time of the month, I am limited to many things that I wish I can do it NOW - delaying it when I am able to do it) Jadi sekarang aku banyak beristighfar...harap-harap baiklah kesudahannya. Aku tak mahu 2008 jadi lebih gelap untuk aku jadi at least..at least (chill la kambing bukan pasal kelas je aku nak emo) hati aku tenang nak menghabiskan 2008. Malas lah aku nak tulis 2009 will be great and bla bla all the asinine prattle, baik duduk dalam bilik drilling untuk SPM. (bukan drill dinding, paham-paham ah metaphor dia) Jadi for the first time in my life having all this running commentaries, InsyaAllah aku tak akan habis kan masa berpuluh jam dekat sini tulis hentah apa resolutions yang akhirnya macam tahi and instead of doing that, aku duduk dalam bilik bermuhasabah munasabah (munasarawak) kan diri. Mungkin spring clean rumah ke, apa ke. Janji productive (dari type pasal 2009 *&^*@&^(*$ suma tu) Satu je aku plan. Aku nak jadi nerd yang paling cool dalam 2009. Kira nerd = rajin solat/rajin ingat Tuhan/rajin belajar rajin segalanya (tapi bukan goody-goody two shoes- cam undang-undang sekolah tu g mampus la sikit; though tak melampaui batas lah) & cool = keeping tabs on the latest digs and writes biting posts here, and everywhere. Ambik kau! :-D Kiranya aku rasa entri ini sesuai dibaca oleh semua lapisan umur, jadi aku akan set entri ini viewable oleh semua. Ok? :-) (Ceh macam la orang baca en, mana tahu..silent reader pssst psst, Ainil kalau baca (guarantee in Malay apa eh..ah jamin) jamin kau mesti comment haha! Ok enough clamor)  Agak best ah taip dalam bahasa Melayu. Tapi obviously bukan dalam bahasa baku. Bayangkan kalau aku boleh karang satu perenggan dalam bahasa baku tetapi masih bukan skema untuk dibaca oleh orang ramai, nescaya aku akan dilabel...skema jugak. Betul tak?

A short post for a short person with a big heart and big mouth (for a guy) :

Happy Birthday to the boy who is becoming a man and sooner becoming a husband and a father. (god, imagine what will I be doing that time) You're the wackiest, reckless wittiest yet funniest and deepest (in terms of words) boy I've ever met. Get you ass up and start studying for SPM boy! You still need a SPM warrant to be doing whatever you love! Have fun, enjoy the ride, hold on to your faith...and don't start sippin' fags anytime soon. (don't ever do it) Love your drumsticks (chicken drumsticks are yummy!) and love Allah the most. Wish you a blessful year ahead, believe in what you love, and trust in what you held on to. I hope you understand what my title is trying to imply.
LASTLY, INGAT TUHAN AND JANGAN SUKA-SUKA SANGAT.

Semoga Allah Memberkati Kamu, Selamat Hari Jadi. :-)

You may have forgetten me, but I haven't.
Love,
Your mum.