15 posts tagged “mix up bunches”

Past recollections, vague memories...

I profess, a stuck up loner is what I am after all...as I perceive that I have the knack of keeping things low and distinct. Things have been going quite well, (though the solemn mood still lingers around) and though it wasn't as smooth-sailing as I bargained for, but my prospects remains concrete. I have been salivating everything the future has in store for me, just inferring that I am (semi) ready to undertake the next stage of life endeavours. Again, who would've thought I do actually invest my time reshuffling my notions and making attempts to evoke fresh rationalizations....yes it is quirky when you think about it. Fair enough, I myself began to understand that I've been taken as an understatement. For the crowd might discern me as a shallow being, much to my selfless needs and infatuation towards everything materialistic, but I can half-assure you (no promises on this!) that I reserved only few thoughts on painful things and seldom let myself wallow in self-pity towards convictions from God-greatest creations on me. Half-God right? (hihi) Of course not you dweeb.

After many attempts trying to reinstate the savvy side of my mind, slowly I begin to realise that I am able to push my restraints further, in order to succeed. In life as I delved through my minds and constantly engross myself with random soliloquys and willy-willy musings from the scion of Earth-governers (really, I'm just showing off my vocab ROFL) and it made me realise that we are actually quite homologous to one another, having a trait which is shared by everyone, (no matter how one affirms the others that he/she is different) and it is called hope. No matter how devastated one might get, no matter how bad your hopes betrayed you, how worse the agony of self-hoping might affect you, hope is something you can't live without. Hope, whether it is in a sense of Utopia (meaning, unachievable longing) or not, will always be by your side. Love is hope. Money is hope. Happiness is some form of hope. Hope is dope. Don't we all hope?
 
Yes I came to the sense that with what I pampered myself won't last forever and (well, this ain't my favourite part) I predict when forever actually ends I'll be rendering my flaws to everyone...(something that I was never proud of) but well, hoping that the wait will be long (see, I'm hoping!). For now, I am fixating myself on beatific things and enjoying the youth though I will soon, I promise, try to not overwhelm everyone with my covetous side. (well I'm not sure if that word exists...but lets give it a try) Bearing in mind to strive my best to get all this done, and yes...maybe cancel out few things (if you're thinking that I'd be scratching out the "no marriage" part, then we're on a right track...but it's indefinite. The decision is very vague) and I leave the decision for the forthcoming to decide. Henceforth, before the woeful feeling started to make its way, here I am hoisting my white flag to other things, concentrating on having an erudite mind (SPM prevails) and uh-oh, garments? (cue loopy face)  

It's official. I'm 17. So as to say I should feel euphoric, well not so. Again, it happened at such ungodly hour. Inspirations injecting in...at times when the blues are kicking in. Not smashing at all. (insert clicking noise) Daydreaming I was all about these days, and its funny that everytime it happens it left me feeling blank and...distorted. Ya dig? Yknow it ain't your fault if you ain't catching my drift...but tellin' you one thing, things I daydream about ain't far fetched at all. Embarasses me to the point that I humiliated myself. I hate feeling embarassed. (I'm not shy though, mind you!) Good God. I'm ending this chapter. Chronicles of me and the previous lover seems to meet its end soon. Still...never fails to make me ge all agitated everytime a conversation is brought upon between us. Him and his sour mouth. Me and my angry self. Or the other way around. Bad combination. Sorry for being such a nuisance boy, but we missed it. Ain't never gonna click. But the society seems to not get it...chemistry is important ya know? Them blaming me...like they know everything. Tsk tsk? But those league of self-absorbed beings ain't gonna shatter me any bit. Takes more than that to do so. Lesson learnt folks, think wisely before making decisions! Some things may be good when you first get your hands on it, but it ain't staying good as gold forever. Lucky you if it does. God bless.

[RE-FREAKING TYPED]

I never blog on request...well maybe there's always an exception.

I am on a quest to find out the exact shape of my eyeballs...mesmerizing I know. I stared..and I see nothing except, them ho' eyebags. Bags and bags of it. Oh the great life. (pipe down when you read this boy!)

I've been maddeningly heated up this whole week, and dude my goddamn brain seems to be working tirelessly and yet I still feel..unproductive.

What the hell was that babble for?

Goddamnit! I am stoked..again. Thank you. Wait no. I hate you for that. I hate this feeling. I hate the light-headed feeling. Well mostly I hate the fact that I am loving it. I feel euphoric when I'm sad.

I am loving these moments that suffer me a great deal of pain.

On a supposedly tight schedule, (supposedly!) oh f-off. All set, poladroiding all day. Rants on going with the freak, everyday, 24/7. (what the hell man?) Giving him an impression of a stuck up loner, (am one indeed) oh fuck the world man, who cares! Uzair is no longer mine so why bother about others. I need to get a griiiiiiiiiiiip.

*zero inspiration for an hour*

Post-Friday/Saturday Rants;
Oh dear god..your expression was priceless. (the stares were very much appreciated..tqvm) As I flunked the seat next to you and joined the other brigade..torture. A great torture to your music-washed soul huh? Z was being a great tuiton mate for the day. (gasp..revelation of truth, MunFai get ready!) A was being grumpy than usual, but hey gentlemen he was. Lord..don't make me start on H. Countless time of ruffling and shuffling my hair..(me being the imaginary dog) When asked on why the need of him playing with my hair..the only way to stop (it seems) is to shave em hair bald. (Oh great, did he forget hijab?) In the meantime, Add Maths was fun and loved...trust J to make mothereffed faces and shove it to me (yuck!) God..that kissing noise, I wish I have 90v battery with me (yes, imagining) and stuck it in his mouth. Such pretty face but a wasted sperm, indeed. Care not to deny the truth, I love my tuition boys. (thanks for the prepaid H) :-)  Saturday? Sinful. Made ma scorned and all boiled up. A poladriod day. An unproductive day. Mothereff. I hate that day. Apart from that small spring cleaning. I gave hope to D. He thinks he's back in the game. Dialled my digits, allowed a mere 10 minutes call. I'm nice. H was being as awesome as ever. Dialled, entertained, hung up as phone died (shssh!) and left the story in-between. Well I guess the day was spent off texting the freak. Sinful. I need my testoterones (sp?) hormones! Give it back to me! My uglier days! My nerd days! Kicks arse man. Till then, I need a serious bedgasm. (scoffs)

Life is bitchin', si? Cut myself some slack by having a short movie-marathon while indulging trans-fat, from 2 am till quarter to 5. Pop's busy with his workloads, so after tuition he slopped back in slumber. Where was I...ah yes, was chillin' like nobody's business watching Wild Child and Wanted (yes, bad combination) ..then I was too tired, shut the lappie off and dozed. Left me feeling guilty and deceit. (I did not wake up for Subuh..I've been keeping up lately, but damn) Pop went out 6 minutes to 10 telling me that he'll be off first and is pickin' me up later..I expect change of plans, knowing how busy and fickle minded he is. (haha, kiddy) Alas, Monday's school! Have I know inform you that I am absolutely enthralled on the idea of school? OMG, YES! (scoffs) Tis' will kick-arse yeahs, we seniors gonna rock that hell-heavenhole!  No. Ain't gonna party hard..I'm thinking of getting to the geek side! (puts on geek glass)

Homeworks are left unattained. What? When? How? Je ne sais pas, mianhae. (ouwww multi-language, I like) Where was I? Yes..Chemistry, Biology. 5 papers in total. Any vindications? I for one thinks thats we should finish it (a) formative marks ahoy! you bitch in form of digits..(b) a total faux pas to start the 09' getting trounced from the "Fraternity of Cluster Professuers" ..et (c) then everyone will go, OMG you did it! OMG this and that; it will totally brings up your self-esteem, kinda help on the 1st day impressions too..ha-ha. (okay lame) and (d) who wants to be a goody-goody two shoes? matey, I see a show of hands there! (gasp) In conclusion, Ich interessiere mich nicht! I don't care! (wait, I think I do) Past weeks spent bunking at Grandma's watching Astro that provides no HBO, E! and the likes ended up channelling 555 and 122, and whole lot of German movies there, I am that sad. But anyway, it doesn't prevent me from my daily retail updates! Behold! Due to the atrocious damage done..which resulted much loss of kachings! ($) - nearly RM300 in a week, I thereforth forestall any likings or intentions to attain any fabrications of any sort of...material. (that minus accessories..tantalizing body products..shoes, Ah yes SHOES!) For I now am equipped with a mere RM150! Major shopping pas! Alright matey, I'll refrain myself. (gag!) But considering I am a cheap-ass, go-for-volume brat, I'm proud! A savvy shopper indeed. (Topshop, Zara, Guess long gone indeed, I bid you farewell!)

Listening to Coldplay's tune circa 05', with a mug of Tesco Hot Choc beside, and my bleeping gadget. Having troubles expressing heartfelt gratitude towards em laddates and relatives...oh for the love of god how I treasure my family! Runaway aunt spilledthe beans, ahh yes she realised her pants are on fire! Revealed the known truth, and tadda...she's busted. With a capitol 'B'. Damn kick-arse, my grandpere' is. "Me, my wife and family are longing for Ameena, and don't you worry we won't lock two of em' up and bomb your place and mash your ass." (OW!) Yes, he did say that...ok he didn't. Whichever it was..she ended up getting the greenlight (you stupid camel!) and will be aboard (insyaallah) on the 7th of Nov; same arrival date as le mami and grandmami. How dare she! Blatantly voiced that she'll arrive first..how one lie leads to another, and another. (She=runaway aunt) Ahh forgo that! I don't care, all I want is Ameena and my vintage goodies from America! (and my vanilla body products; don't forget to smell me!) Off the way! Out! Room improvement calls!

On list :- Slick & cotton leggings, black leopard sheer jacket, vintage sling bag, quirky vintage vest, geek glasses, studded heels, more vintage dresses, sequin cape, Tea n' Sympathy goodness, Ikano 1st floor stalls (roflmaomgwtfbbq) AND body&bathworks milk products!